I don't know what kind of place I am in my mind at the moment. I think it's going to turn into something so beautiful, but then some shit gets in the way and I fall into it.
over and over
It's like I have some kind of shit magnet strapped to my back that I can't see, hear, move, feel, or remove in any fashion. My mind moves in motions like water cascading across a desert that's been dry for a hundred years. The first drops of liquid that stretch across me make me feel like I have always known water.
This is mainly just a test post to see how I've managed to allow my journal posts to auto post to Facebook too... hey, sometimes I really don't want to have people on Facebook read some of my journal posts, k?!
I'm single again... yay. maybe yay? no yay at all...
My boss has denied my request off from work for the night of the 15th so that I can take myself AND Josh to see the show in KC.
I'm debating on whether or not to call in "sick".
That'll learn 'er!
My younger sister (23 years old) has always been a master manipulator and has had trouble with addiction in the past. She is diagnosed with bipolar disorder which goes untreated. She seeks no help from doctors. My family has tried to intervene and even given her chances to clean up and get sober. She would be sober for a few months, then crash and the whole process would start over.
Recently I found out that she's been hiding a cocaine habit and although it sounds cliche, I know it is definitely influenced by her chosen career path as a stripper.
I have read other posts about "how to help my friend with their cocaine habit", etc... but other than letting her hit rock bottom or waiting until she realizes she's wasting her life and wants to clean up, what the hell am I supposed to do.... just forget about it? She seems so proud of herself to be this person who can get everything she wants or needs by manipulating people. I really would like to have solid answers from people with direct experience with how they personally have delt with a family member's addiction and what the outcome was (good or bad).
I just want to know what it is that I'll be up against since I haven't had to deal with her addictions on this level.
I want to kill the part of you that makes me vomit
You are the maggot filled wal mart bag in my trunk
I want to carve out the pain in my chest
Plug in and play out your woes on AM
Fantasize about when what and where
All the while it's all around you
Fuck your blood up and drain it
You can always buy mine
Take that bag and put in over your fucking head
Now climb into the trunk and close the lid
Feel more euphoric with every bump in the road
Now take a deep breath
Fuck you. You're dead.
...do as the ATLiens do?
Kill Hannah is going to be playing Friday night at the Masquerade, but it's really just too late for me to try to find tickets, plus I know a few people that would just be plain pissed off if I went without them!